Selective love

It seems that every day brings me way too many opportunities to face the fact that I am a selfish person. You would think that after nearly 44 years of living with me, I would not be surprised at myself any more, but I still am. Too often I am nothing but a self-centred pain. I guess this is more evident in the area of "loving others" than in any other area of my life.

I know I'm supposed to love people. That's Christian, right? That's what we're supposed to do. But if I'm honest, I think I love people that it is comfortable for me to love. I love my family. I love people that it's easy to get along with, who have the same interests as me. I love some of my college friends like they were family. But there are a lot of people that I don't really love, not really.

Those words of Jesus, "If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even the pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect" (Matthew 5:46-48), ring in my ears over and over again. I have to ask myself: What am I doing to live the "extraordinary" life that Christ calls me to?

Dietrich Bonhoeffer describes this life as the perisson, the "extraordinary". He says, "It is 'the more', the 'beyond-all-that'. The natural life is one and the same for heathen and Christian, the distinctive quality of the Christian life begins with the perisson. ... It is the life described in the beatitudes, the life of the followers of Jesus, the light which lights the world, the city set on a hill, the way of self-renunciation, of utter love, of absolute purity, truthfulness, and meekness. It is unreserved love for our enemies, for the unloving and the unloved, love for our religious, political, and personal adversaries. In every case it is the love which was fulfilled in the cross of Christ" (The Cost of Discipleship).

Loving people really is of paramount importance. In his provocative book, Blue Like Jazz, Donald Miller has this to say: "If a person thinks that you do not like them, that you do not approve of their existence, then your religion and your politics will all seem wrong to them. If they sense that you like them, then they are open to what you have to say. ... When I am talking to somebody there are always two conversations going on. The first is on the surface; it is about politics or music or whatever it is our mouths are saying. The other is beneath the surface, on the level of the heart, and my heart is either communicating that I like the person I am talking to or I don't. God wants both conversations to be true. That is, we are supposed to speak truth in love. If both conversations are not true, God is not involved in the exchange, we are on our own, and on our own, we will lead people astray. The Bible says that if you talk to somebody with your mouth, and your heart does not love them, that you are like a person standing there smashing two cymbals together. You are only annoying everybody around you. I think that is very beautiful and true."

We read this kind of teaching, and we think to ourselves, "Lord increase our faith." I don't see how I can do it! I think it was Oswald Chambers who said that the Sermon on the Mount is not a blueprint for Christian living, rather it is a description of the supernatural life that is utterly impossible without the life of Christ abiding within us. We know that it is the love of God that will touch the heart of man, but when we go to "reflect that love", sometimes it seems to go all wrong. Or many times it just doesn't go at all; we often don't seem to be in a very "reflective" mood.

It comes back to living the "extraordinary". How can I do it? Paul says that "God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us" (Romans 5:5). The Holy Spirit of God comes into our lives, and we are enabled to live a life filled with the supernatural love of God. It sounds easy, and quite simple, but it is a life-long pursuit of abiding and learning to trust in the Holy Spirit and his work in us.

I've been reading the biography of Samuel Logan Brengle, the great Salvation Army author, and here is the description of the day when he felt that he had truly experienced the Spirit of God: "I awoke that morning hungering and thirsting just to live this life of fellowship with God. Getting out of bed about six o'clock with that desire, I opened my Bible and while reading some of the words of Jesus, he gave me such a blessing as I never had dreamed a man could have this side of heaven. It was an unutterable revelation. It was a heaven of love that came into my heart. My soul melted like wax before the fire. I sobbed. I walked out over Boston Commons before breakfast, weeping for joy and praising God. Oh, how I loved. In that hour I knew Jesus, and I love him till it seemed my heart would break. I was filled with love for all his creatures. I heard the little sparrows chattering. I loved them. I saw a little worm wriggling across my path; I stepped over it; I didn't want to hurt any living thing. I loved the dogs. I loved the horses. I loved the little urchins on the street. I loved the strangers who hurried past me. I loved the heathen. I loved the whole world!"

The early church fathers used to echo Brengle's words. They said that the presence of the Holy Spirit would bring a baptism of love that would be beyond anything we could naturally create or understand. It is that love which will change the hearts of men and women.

We are called to love. Not just the people that we like or think are worthy of our love, but all people--good or bad, pretty or ugly, nice or nasty. We are to love. It comes only by the Holy Spirit of God. As we seek him, he will enable us to do that which we could never do ourselves. Lord teach me to love.